Marriage - Personal Need or Social Desire ?

Sometimes we think about the our own life events and if something we can't understand then we ask questions from ourselves and expect that we get the answers for the same questions for which we don't have answers.... This happened with me when I read the following article on some website. I am copying it because I don't know how long they will keep in there :

If there is something Indian parents are more eager than getting their kids to clear IIT about, it is getting them married. The moment you enter your mid twenties, the whole world around you discovers a new found obsession to see you tying the knot. Why? Why is it that marriage has been made into the ultimate life goal? Here, we tell you why it’s perfectly fine if you never want to get married.

1. Marriage is just a label. If you want to be committed to someone, you don’t need a piece of paper telling you that. You can be as dedicated, committed and loving a partner as anyone else without getting married.
2. Contrary to what parents think, a marriage cannot guarantee a secure, lifelong relationship. What has to go wrong will go wrong. People who don’t want to stick around, won’t, either way.  And people who truly love you will stay by your side without any declaration. You don’t need to get married to be sure your partner is never going to leave you.
3. It’s strange how some people will spend the rest of their lives with people they don’t even love, suffering every day, just because their parents got them married. It’s funny how a life of compromise is what they see as a solution to a failed marriage. It’s much better to be in a relationship that you can break out of if things don’t go well than hanging on to the wrong person.
4. We weren’t born to get married. It’s not as necessary as the Indian society makes it to be. Life is still going to be as good, even if you’re unmarried. Marriage is just an institution and you can choose not believe in it, like religion. There’s nothing wrong with not conforming to the idea of marriage if you don’t believe in it. As simple as that.
5. Not all relationships pass the test of time. If break ups weren’t hard enough already, things get unmanageably rough if the two partners are married! Divorces are messy. Always. Whether or not the separation is out of mutual consent. When two people decide to end a long term relationship that they’ve invested their soul and heart into, getting into legal hassles is the last thing they want to be involved in. And don’t even get us started on the alimony laws in the country!
6. Your twenties are the time when you finally get out of your shell and explore the many possibilities of life. It is perfectly normal to not want to get tied down by marriage. There is nothing more fulfilling than living life on your own terms and you shouldn’t exchange that for anything in the world!
7. An average Indian lives for 70 years. He is still not an adult till the age of 18. And, gets married by the age of 25. All he gets is 7 years, 7 out of 70 years of his life, to find a woman he loves. Most people never find ‘the one’ because they get married before they can even try! There’s no acceptable age to fall in love. Why can’t we be dating till we actually find someone worth settling down with?
8. Some people want a happily ‘married’ life, some have different priorities. It is perfectly okay to never want to have a wife back home, a house with kids. Some of us just want to be independent all our lives, living by ourselves, doing what we love, doing what we want.
9. We grow up seeing everyone getting married around us and assume it is a stage every man has to go through. But how many people who get married do so because they really want to? It just doesn’t make sense to rush into marrying just because everyone else is.
10. In India, you don’t just marry your partner, you marry their whole family. And truth be told, families are the reason why a married couple is always fighting. If one pair of parents isn’t enough, you get another one that loves getting involved in everything you do. It’s fair to not want so much baggage in a relationship. A relationship is always happier till there aren’t more people involved other than the two partners. And sadly, that’s just not possible in marriages.
11. There’s a lot that is terribly wrong with Indian marriages. The society won’t let you live in peace till you get married. Giving in looks like the solution, but it only makes things worse. Getting married is only the beginning. Once you’re married, a dozen more expectations will be set on you – to have children, to buy a bigger house, an even bigger car. The society will lay down all the rules for you on what is the purpose of a marriage, how an Indian couple behaves and what a successful marriage should mean. It’s really not worth it.

My Kashmir Trip....Unforgettable experience

Agar zameen pe kahi jannat hai to yahi haiyahi hai, yahin hai.....emperor JAHANGIR used these words to describe his feelings about Kashmir. I myself had the same feelings when I visited Kashmir for 5 days with my father from 30th August to 3rd September.Before I go further let me share my itinerary : 

Preparation :
- Booked air tickets via they don't accept foreign cards)

- Booked the houseboat Young Bombay via 

Day1 : Boarded Indigo morning flight from Delhi and arrived at Sheikh-ul-Aalam airport,Srinagar. Well received by the  houseboat owner mr. Noor mohammad and directly driven to gate no. 9,Dal lake. There Mr. mohammad dropped the luggage and himself and asked us to continue for local sight seeing trip.He took our luggage to houseboat.We saw the 
- Sankrasharya mandir ( Lord Shiva mandir , 300 mt above sea level )
- Pari Mahal ( laid out by Dara Shiko)
- Shalimar Gardens( laid out by Jehangir )
- Nishat Bagh 
- Chashma Shah ( laid out by Shah Jehan)

and finished the day by evening tea at Zabarvan park(where we saw the hot air balloon) and live kashmiri music. Music was so enchanting that it captivated our heart for the whole life.
In evening taxi dropped us at the gate no. 9 , from there we took free shikara service to go to our houseboat -Young Bombay. At the houseboat we were formally welcomed by the house boat owner and his son and staff of houseboat.We tasted welcome drink- Kahwa(first time in life) and had general chit-chat about kashmir and houseboat life.
We ordered the Non-veg dinner and took some rest in the meantime in our room. Room was well maintained. Cleanness of bathroom took our attention as well.Bathroom had warm water facility,towels,toilet paper etc 
After Dinner we stayed on outside terrace for a while to enjoy the night at dal lake. In the meantime we saw a barbecue shikara coming to our houseboat. Though we were full but just for taste, we ordered mutton and chicken kababs, It was delicious and unique experience in itself and stylist way to say - Good Night.
Day2 : In Morning , we had light breakfast-milk,omlate,toasts and poha( which was part of our houseboat package) and started for the Pahalgaon with our Taxi. On the way we saw Saffron fields and Avantipur Bat factory. I stopped at one point and enjoyed the white water rafting in Lidder river. Once w e reached the Pahalgam, we had to drop our taxi there and took another taxi for Betab valley and Aru Valley trip.

Day3 : After breakfast we again departed for full day excursion to the Sonmarg via Leh road Journey was beautiful as we enjoyed dense woodlands of firs and silver birches. Same as other parts our Taxi was allowed/(kindly forced) to drop at main Sonamarg and  from there onwards we had 3 options :
- Walk up to Thajiwass 
- Hire another taxi for 2-3 local places
- Hire ponies
I could have taken ponies but as my dad was bit reluctant to try it so we hired the taxi again. Here I want to say that local taxi guys have a syndicate and always try to exploit the tourists.Government rates are so different then waht they charge for.We hired the taxi in 3000 INR for 2-3 places( places were located in area of 15-km). 
Thajiwass Glacier is the biggest attraction ( for somebody who has not seen it earlier) but fact is thatreal glacier is too far to go by taxis or ponies( forget walking to it) so these guys just fool you around.

Day4 : Gulmarg trip
Day5 : Local sightseeing and shopping

Collaboration can make one successful..

Father : Auto-rikshaw driver
Father's Income : 15000 INR / month
House : 300 sq. ft
Name : Prema Jayakumar(age 24 )
Achievement :Topper in CA exam conducted by the institute of Chartered Accountants of India,2012.

Some key statements :
  • "..We always studied together as that helped us to discuss our problems with each other. My sister is my inspiration and it is she who helped me to clear the exam. Our neighbors were very supportive and maintained peace when we studied...”
  •  “My parents earned well as they both use to work...."
  •  "... My parents didn’t study beyond school, so they are very proud that both their children have opted for higher education.”
  •   “..Fees were never an issue in school or college. In my school days I used to get a scholarship, and the college fees were nominal...."
  •  “..The day I start working, I will ensure that my father can rest at home. He has always toiled for my welfare...”
Sum : Collaboration can be very crucial in competitive exams as it can inspire and guide us towards excellence.


A coincidence :)

There are 2 people A and B ....
A lives in Australia.........................................................B lives in Norway
A is passionate about India ............................................B is also.
A understands that political solution can revive India....B believes the same
A wants to go back to India to do something..................B wants the same.
A is looking for $$ security before he goes to India.......B is in same same.
A waits for Aus. citizenship............................................B might get Nor. one.
A is an retired IAS officer and now workinf in Aus.......B is soft. prof. in Norway.
A has a future plan here .................................................B has future plan here

I always thought there might be few people like me (B) but recently , I got the e-mail from Raghavendra Prasad,member of FTN who requested me to join FTN and referred to the blog of Sanjeev Sabhlook(A) where I read about his plan and compared it with mine.What a co-incidence ....... I noticed that he has same fear and insecurity and waiting for 'mera wala green' opportunity.

As humans, we look forward to our leaders (dead or alive) and think what they have done when they were in our situation.......I did the same and compared myself to our great leader of all time MK Gandhi and found that he could have been in the same state of mind .........Now questions are ...
  • Why he did not wait for best time to return to India ?
  • Why did not he waited for financial security before he came back to India ?
  • Why he did not think about his primary responsibility in his all life ?
  • Why he consider his 'second responsibility' as 'primary responsibility' ?
Answer to these make him GREAT and us 'Common' and so rightly he was father of nation and what we could just be a 'father'(If lucky :) ).

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