Failures ....


Building relationship for life with your partner ....

Being a science student and guy with dominant left-brain, I always look for the guidelines, rules, phenomenon that explain the human behavior or guide us to understand it. I am pretty sure that there is no universal guidelines for it still 'Heart is Heart' and so sometimes I think if :
- I really like somebody or not ?
- I am good for other person ?
- Other person is good for me ?
- we are good for each-other ?
or simply why I am not good for him/her ?
or what should I do to make things better between us `?

Though I understand that answers to above questions varies from people to people and  situation to situation so obviously this discussion might be 'odd' but some points in my opinion are quite common and play vital role in building new relationship or understanding the reason of failure in previous/current one. So here are my 10 findings until now .......

1. If you can not see how the life of your future partner will be changed for good then don't make him/her partner.Both of partner must have this feeling for a good start and also understand other's perspective beforehand.
2. If you can not see that you have desire to listen/talk to your partner now then don't expect it to fire-up suddenly once you will be together in future.So don't let this feeling of 'don't care' ever house in your heart for the people you will be caring about.
3. If you get angry with your future partner and don't have feeling which says that you should talk to him/her then this feeling will be even stronger after you come together so beware of this sign !! Come forward with a positive attitude to solve it for good.
4. Both the partner needs to understand what they must offer to the relationship so that bond of relationship will be stronger. Lack/absence of such offerings will make things difficult in future relationship.
5. Finding a common interest is equally important in cementing a relationship because it brings both the partner to come together not just because of each other and also give them a chance to forget some things for good.
6. Both the partner needs to gain some knowledge about each-other's work/profession/skills.It helps in understanding how your partner is feeling/doing in is non-family life and so other partner can make things relaxing if not better(when desired) and can add value to partner's life.
7. Partners should not make him/her husband/wife because he/she wants it,it MUST ALWAYS be mutual to survive longer.One person can drag the things but how long ... we all have limits !!
8. Role of common 3rd person becomes very important in life. If both partner have some other person who can listen to them fairly then it is boon for relationship as this angel/adviser/guide will always work for both of them.Siblings/frnds plays very vital role in this.
9. Both the partner must understand that Winning of one and loosing of another is not good after they become ONE.'You are wrong or I am right' both are not good.So always work towards loosing or winning TOGETHER NOT ALONE.    
10.Both the tentative partners should invest time in courtship/dating in-person and/or remotely. In this way they gain answers/insight to above points for good.

Dilemma for an Indian - Norway or US ?

I was talking to a friend of mine who is working in Big Research firm in India and got the opportunity to do Phd in Norway. He was excited and could not want more from God. But God is God :) and so last week he told me that he got another offer from US....................And this added a great bit of thought-grinding in him and his family.... A friend in need is friend indeed ...so he bombarded me with some typical questions..... and so happily found out following :

Earning and Taxes :
Income :
------------->Norway: $34,791/year/person
------------->USA   : $40,240/year/person

Taxes :
------------->Norway : $32,000/year/person
------------->USA    : $8,000/year/person

But where does this does money goes :) ....
Lets look at the social security expenditure of both the countries :
------------->Norway: 40%
------------->USA: 33%

And also look at the Education expenditure :
------------->Norway: 11%
------------->USA: 2%

Another aspect on which Indian(and others) want clarification is job related so here are some more info..

- In Norway, it is quite difficult for an employer to fire an employee after the initial 3 month trial period. It is also uncommon for employees to be fired for under performing. Compared with the US, this is quite a novel concept. In the States, employees can be fired with almost zero notice, although 2 weeks is common notice.
- And the BIGGEST DIFFERENCE IS Work/life balance and now I am not comparing just US and Norway but Norway and rest of the world.
In US/India, people feel like life is work or work is life but in Norway, the attitude is - 'people
work to live'. So what is so different? ....typical regular work hours in Norway are very relaxing though
standard business hours are from 8AM to 4PM but you will find people coming earlier then 8 and leaving before 4PM. In fact in many offices they have officially declared that office-calling time is until 3 PM.
But it does not mean people don't give importance to work... yes they do in fact Norwegians are extremely efficient and task-oriented at work and when the working day ends, they are on to more important things such as family or sports or just relaxing at home(with some good book).Though not everybody is having family life but when they have family then family takes a huge priority even at work and that is why people after dropping kids to school/kindergarten, quickly reaches office early and then leave work early to pick their kids up from school or take them to sports practice.

Hope it helps Avnish a bit to decide ..... :)

In India vegetable Vendor Builds Hospital for Poor

AFTER losing her beloved husband due to medical negligence four decades ago, Subhashini Mistry, then 23, made an oath wailing over the lifeless body of her partner that fateful day: “No one should suffer my fate.”
The untimely death of her agricultural labourer husband gave birth to the idea of building a hospital for the poor by the poor in the village of Haspukur, situated on the outskirts of Kolkata in West Bengal. But this was not the time to indulge in her dream as she had four hungry children — the eldest being eight years old and the youngest all of two — to feed.But all she knew was household chores, so she started working as a domestic help in nearby houses. “I have worked as an agricultural labourer, a maid and even polished shoes,” recalls the 69-year-old.
But even during the darkest period of her life, she was farsighted enough to send her younger son Ajoy to an orphanage in Kolkata so that he got a better education than she could provide. Her other children, remained at home, either helping her with housework or working in tea stalls. She could ill-afford putting them through school.Soon she discovered that selling vegetables could fetch more money than working as domestic help. So she moved to Dhapa village and started selling vegetables there. Once she got a hang of the business, Subhashini started selling vegetables in the bustling Park Circus market in central Kolkata.
As her income increased, she started doing a little bit of savings. For 20 long years, she spent nothing on herself or her family, except for the educational expenses of Ajoy, who she identified to carry on her mission.Never disappointing his mother, Ajoy successfully completed his secondary education and then went on to clear the All India Medical Entrance test. Aided by a German scholarship, he joined Calcutta Medical College where he completed his medical course.
In 1992, Subhashini bought an acre of land in her husband’s village, Hanspukur, with her live savings of Rs 100,000. “When I got to know the landlord for whom my husband used to work was selling the plot. I fell on his feet and requested him give me the plot at a lesser amount. Babu was kind enough to oblige to my request,” said an emotional Subhashini.Soon after the buying the plot, Subhashini moved back to her husband’s village and told her neighbors that she was willing to donate her one acre land for the hospital. Villagers would have to donate money to build a thatched shed that could serve as a dispensary for the poor.
20140201_153301
“While some villagers contributed in kind – providing bamboos, palm leaves, truckloads of earth, wooden planks, some offered their labour. Thus, a 20X20-foot temporary shed of Humanity Hospital came into being in 1993. Every member of the society contributed to the cause. It wouldn’t have been possible without their help,” she said.
The clay-tiled hut from where the Humanity Hospital started functioning out in 1993. (Below) A three-story building was inaugurated in December last year in the Sunderbans, around 300 km away from its main three-story building in Haspukur in Kolkata.
In 1995 the Governor of West Bengal laid the foundation stone to the hospital. After clearing infrastructural hurdles, the mother-son duo went about the town requesting doctors to spare some time from their busy schedule for their clinic. Their appeal went down well the medical fraternity and soon the thatched dispensary had six visiting doctors – a general physician, paediatrician, orthopaedic, ophthalmologist and a homeopath.Each one of them offered free service at least once a week. On the very first day, the Humanity Hospital treated as many as 252 patients. The facility hasn’t looked back since.
Subhashini knocked on the doors of the local politicians and influential people to raise funds for their cause. A group of trustees – including doctors, eminent local citizens and serving IPS officers guided the hospital, which has now expanded to include gynaecology, cardiology, ENT, urology, oncology, diabetology and surgery. They now have 3 acres of land and the hospital has expanded to 9,000 sq feet spread over two floors.
Through all this growth, Subhashini was clear about her goal. “This is a hospital for the poor. This is not a business. Yet, we knew that the hospital had to be self-sufficient. It cannot survive forever on donations,” she said.So while the poor got free treatment, those who lived above poverty line had to pay a minimal consultation fee. Still, this is not sufficient to cover the day to day expense of running a hospital. “There is a perpetual shortage of funds. We live from month to month. Thankfully we got some funds from donors of Satyamev Jayate and Reliance Foundation. But we haven’t got any funds from the government,” Dr Ajoy Mistry said.
So how did Subhashini achieve all this? “Inner Strength,” she says, “God in his infinite grace gave me a vision at the darkest moment in my life. From then on, my life had a purpose. I used whatever strength God gave me to make sure other poor people did not lose their loved ones for lack of medical attention.”Now her elder daughter and son, who used to sell vegetables, also help in running the hospital. After Ajoy become a doctor, he inspired the youngest sister to become a nurse who also serves at the hospital.
Currently, the Humanity Hospital has 13 different departments, catering to thousands of patients. “We offer a range of medical services from medicinal treatments to surgical cases both open and laparoscopic. We have a total no. of 45 beds, including 10 ICUs, available. Out of the total, 25 are completely free. We have both Indoor and Outdoor departments where 19 visiting doctors and several resident doctors provide round-the-clock service. We take care of variety of patients with wide range of need from simple medicinal treatment to different surgical cases with the help of specialist doctors at Humanity Hospital, Hanspukur. Thousands of patients every year through indoor, outdoor, mobile clinic as well as referral cases are getting the benefits from this hospital. We have also started a branch of our hospital in Sunderbans area,” said Dr Ajoy.Apart from routine hospital services, the hospital also provides free medical and cancer detection camps in different parts of the state where there is little or no medical facility. “We offer free-of-cost medicines, health advice and, in cases where hospitalization is needed, we offer free treatment through our Hospital centers,” said Subhashini.
Life has come full-circle for Subhashini. With Ajoy at the helm of affairs, she now spends most of her time tending to the sick or playing with her grandchildren. Though she looks relaxed after passing on the baton, she won’t retire as long as the urge to serve the needy keeps surging within.

Blog Archive