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Discipline is talent - Roger Federer

There are legends in every field who re-defined the definitions and re-energize the people first by their actions and later when it comes to converting those actions into abstract speeches/lessons - they do the perfect justice. 

At one point of time I was mesmerized by the Great Steve Jobs's Stanford Commencement Address- Link  in 2005 and now in 2024 again I was floored by the Dartmouth Commencement speech of another legend-Roger Federer Link.

Though both are from different field and have demonstrated skills entirely but both men are known for their exceptional talent, dedication, and determination to reach the top of their field.

Achievements of both of these actually transcend their field and encourages and motivates people to follow their path :

1. Effortless is a myth

2. Belief in yourself has to be earned

3. Grit > Gift 

4. Discipline is talent 

5. Trust and loving the process is talent

6. You can do your best and still lose

7. Life is bigger than the court

8. You can only connect the dots looking back, not forwards.

9. The only way to do great work is to love what you do.

10. Time is limited.

May be sometime I will get into following greats :

• Usain Bolt: delight. 
• Michael Phelps: awe. 
• Serena Williams: respect 

Sunaa hai .... by Ahmad Faraz...

Just found some beautiful lines of  Janab Ahmad Faraz ....

sunaa hai log use aankh bhar ke dekhte hain
so us ke shah’r mein kuchh din Thahar ke dekhte hain

sunaa hai rabt(closeness) hai us ko Kharaab haalon se
so apne aap ko barbaad kar ke dekhte hain

sunaa hai bole to baaton se phuul jhhaRte hain
ye baat hai to chalo baat kar ke dekhte hain

sunaa hai us ke badan ke taraash aise hain
ke phuul apanii qabaayeN(tunic) katar ke dekhte hain

What is it & why should I do it?

I don't like you because 'WHAT' ?

Human behavior seems to be complicated, specially when it comes to liking and disliking others.We get along with some people and at times we don’t get along with some people because of one or the other reason.Fundamentally it is found that our behavior comprised of one or more DISC properties. Never analyzed DISC in so depth so cant comment much on it but still I wanted to categorize some very common situations between 2 people to understand it better:

eg.
A- Me
B- Other person(important to me)
C- third person

I experienced that A does not like B because :
Case 1- A has violated something universally accepted principle or philosophy. eg. A is abusive or swindler.
So I should not like a person who is 'universally' on wrong side... in this way, Am I helping him or society ?
Case 2- B is doing the things which A thinks 'B should/must NOT be doing'.
So in other word I want the world to behave the way 'I want'... am I narcissist ?
Case 3- C doesn't like B so over the time A starts disliking B.
So in other words,I am so weak that I can't have my own belief system... am I meek ?
Case 4- If B doesn't like A then it does not matter if A likes B or not.
So in other words,I am insignificant for other person and just have 1-directional relationship... am I wasting my time?

I guess before liking and disliking a person, we should always get an answer to following question :
"do I value the differences other person has and do I seek to understand it well ?" and if the answer to both is 'Yes' then most probably , we are on right side.

Building relationship for life with your partner ....

Being a science student and guy with dominant left-brain, I always look for the guidelines, rules, phenomenon that explain the human behavior or guide us to understand it. I am pretty sure that there is no universal guidelines for it still 'Heart is Heart' and so sometimes I think if :
- I really like somebody or not ?
- I am good for other person ?
- Other person is good for me ?
- we are good for each-other ?
or simply why I am not good for him/her ?
or what should I do to make things better between us `?

Though I understand that answers to above questions varies from people to people and  situation to situation so obviously this discussion might be 'odd' but some points in my opinion are quite common and play vital role in building new relationship or understanding the reason of failure in previous/current one. So here are my 10 findings until now .......

1. If you can not see how the life of your future partner will be changed for good then don't make him/her partner.Both of partner must have this feeling for a good start and also understand other's perspective beforehand.
2. If you can not see that you have desire to listen/talk to your partner now then don't expect it to fire-up suddenly once you will be together in future.So don't let this feeling of 'don't care' ever house in your heart for the people you will be caring about.
3. If you get angry with your future partner and don't have feeling which says that you should talk to him/her then this feeling will be even stronger after you come together so beware of this sign !! Come forward with a positive attitude to solve it for good.
4. Both the partner needs to understand what they must offer to the relationship so that bond of relationship will be stronger. Lack/absence of such offerings will make things difficult in future relationship.
5. Finding a common interest is equally important in cementing a relationship because it brings both the partner to come together not just because of each other and also give them a chance to forget some things for good.
6. Both the partner needs to gain some knowledge about each-other's work/profession/skills.It helps in understanding how your partner is feeling/doing in is non-family life and so other partner can make things relaxing if not better(when desired) and can add value to partner's life.
7. Partners should not make him/her husband/wife because he/she wants it,it MUST ALWAYS be mutual to survive longer.One person can drag the things but how long ... we all have limits !!
8. Role of common 3rd person becomes very important in life. If both partner have some other person who can listen to them fairly then it is boon for relationship as this angel/adviser/guide will always work for both of them.Siblings/frnds plays very vital role in this.
9. Both the partner must understand that Winning of one and loosing of another is not good after they become ONE.'You are wrong or I am right' both are not good.So always work towards loosing or winning TOGETHER NOT ALONE.    
10.Both the tentative partners should invest time in courtship/dating in-person and/or remotely. In this way they gain answers/insight to above points for good.

A coincidence :)

There are 2 people A and B ....
A lives in Australia.........................................................B lives in Norway
A is passionate about India ............................................B is also.
A understands that political solution can revive India....B believes the same
A wants to go back to India to do something..................B wants the same.
A is looking for $$ security before he goes to India.......B is in same same.
A waits for Aus. citizenship............................................B might get Nor. one.
A is an retired IAS officer and now workinf in Aus.......B is soft. prof. in Norway.
A has a future plan here .................................................B has future plan here

I always thought there might be few people like me (B) but recently , I got the e-mail from Raghavendra Prasad,member of FTN who requested me to join FTN and referred to the blog of Sanjeev Sabhlook(A) where I read about his plan and compared it with mine.What a co-incidence ....... I noticed that he has same fear and insecurity and waiting for 'mera wala green' opportunity.

As humans, we look forward to our leaders (dead or alive) and think what they have done when they were in our situation.......I did the same and compared myself to our great leader of all time MK Gandhi and found that he could have been in the same state of mind .........Now questions are ...

• Why he did not wait for best time to return to India ?
• Why did not he waited for financial security before he came back to India ?
• Why he did not think about his primary responsibility in his all life ?
• Why he consider his 'second responsibility' as 'primary responsibility' ?

Answer to these make him GREAT and us 'Common' and so rightly he was father of nation and what we could just be a 'father'(If lucky :) ).

Greatness of human being lies in simplicity...

A man will be known by his words and works ......................RIP YP

"Pehli bhaisaab ko dijiye. Only then will I accept it," 

"Yaar Chintu I can't believe that I have come this far and that I have a studio in my name.''

'Do it the way Adi says'."

'Amit respects everybody and is the most civilised and cultured person. He is the first exemplary son I have seen in my life. He never talks about his achievement and status. I love Amit.'


 

Can Social networks assist job hunting ?

Here in Norway ( and in many other western countries like States,UK,Canada...) most of the recruiters invariably do Google to find out the suitability of prospective employees who have foreign origin( it does not mean that they don't do it for native people) .They do it because as foreigners it is difficult for them to find out the personality of another foreigner( because culture plays a role in personality) who comes from a not only from a different country but from a different continent.Dating partners,Landlords do online research about each other before they get into deeper waters. Even neighbours do digital social network snooping on neighbours.

How it works for Employers :
- They Google search on their prospective candidates and explore social networking sites such as Facebook, MySpace and LinkedIn to cross-check before they hire anyone.
- They read blogs,comments,posts to understand your attitude.nature and philosophy.
- All the time they give a call to reference (mentioned in resume) and confirm about his behaviour , attitude and work-ethics( not much emphasis is there on technical side as these calls are made by HR guys- who typically do not have much idea about the technical aspects).

Positive side : Now one can use these social networking sites as an extension to resume and
SO DO NOT RESTRICT YOUR RESUME TO RESUME....LET MAKE DIGITAL SOCIAL RESUME.

Recommendations :
- Create Blogs and share your technical and social ideas with others.
- Post your response on others blogs.
- Have a detailed(matching) linked-in profile which gives the SAME information but in different style( so that you can explain your career in different perspective)
- Avoid sharing your spur-of-the-moment opinions, risque photos and outrageous experiences with others including strangers, the danger of compromising your digital identity, privacy and social reputation and, consequently career prospects, is tremendous.
- Try to avoid making public comments ( which have many meanings) as when information goes viral, we cannot recall it a curse of the digital age. Eg. Many Indian politicians/celebrities have been discovering that people have taken their twitter comments in different context.
- Always remember that our digital pasts may not be undone and can haunt us.
- Settings : On all the networking sites they have provided some features that can help us to limit our personal information available online; so change your private settings, delete unwanted comments and remove your names from any photos tagged to identify you ( that is not needed). recently I have a call from friend of mine and he asked about some information that I changed on my facebook account and then I realized that I have to change my Facebook privacy settings to restrict some information outflow......

Scorpio vs Capricorn

Some of the facts of sun sign.....

• Scorpio naturally at­tracts either fiercely loyal and dedicated admirers, or en­vious and spiteful enemies. But even the latter give him grudging respect, and you'll notice they're careful not to challenge him openly.
• Scorpio is intensely loyal to friends. "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." Some of them do this literally, for friends, rela­tives or loved ones-in battle or in a civilian crisis. Scorpio fireman gives his life to rescue the child in the burning building. Sometimes it seems Pluto people unconsciously seek vio­lence deliberately, as a challenge to their strength.

• The female Scorpio has a deep, mysterious beauty. She's magnetic, proud and totally confident. But she has one secret regret. She was not born a man.I can almost feel the heat from here when Pluto women hear about that revelation. There's not a Scorpio female alive who doesn't think she's all woman, and you may wonder what I'm talking about yourself, if you're in love with one.
• The Scorpio health picture is typical of his nature. He can destroy his body with excesses, melancholy or hard work. But he can also built it back at will from a critical illness.
• A Scorpio woman will sometimes nearly drown you in her passion for living, yet in a real storm, her cool, calm reason and steely strength will be a life raft. Though she works her magic in strange and secret ways, her haunting eyes will always gaze at you with basic honesty, even while she remains just beyond the reach of human under­standing. She's a little dangerous, perhaps, but undeniably exciting.
• A Scorpio mother won't let the talents of her children go unnoticed or gather dust. She'll spend many an hour encouraging them toward higher goals, and be willing to provide any support they need. Her offspring will find her strong and helpful when youthful problems arise, because her knowledge of human nature makes her a wise counselor. She'll teach them to meet difficulties with her own courage. But she can be bund to their faults, an attitude which can naturally cause a lot of trouble if it isn't recognized and checked in time. Anyone she imagines is a threat to the happiness of her children, in any way, however small, will be crushed, and I'm afraid that in­cludes her husband. She won't appreciate it if he's stricter with them than she thinks he ought to be.
• One of the worst traits of both male and female Scorpios is a refusal to see any viewpoint but their own when the emotions are involved. It takes weeks of introspection to bring them around to a semblance of humility. Her natural interest in the opposite sex, even if it remains platonic, may give you as much reason to be jealous of her as she is of you.
• In the heat of battle, it pays to remember that her compulsion to even the score usually makes her the winner in any kind of skirmish. She gets the last word. If you tell her a lie, she may tell two. If you stubbornly refuse to kiss her good-bye in the morning after a tiff, she may refuse to kiss you goodnight for a month. Just let your mother (or anybody's mother) criti­cize her cooking, and the Scorpio woman may forget to invite her to dinner for several Sundays in a row. An acci­dental injury, however, she'll forgive, if she knows it's unintentional. The Scorpio sense of justice is as strong as the sense of revenge. Most people forget this. She'll remember every kindness and give you back double for that, too. It works both ways.
• In the budget department, Scorpio women are complete­ly unpredictable. She can scrimp and save and pinch a penny until it bends double, then have a sudden spell of being magnificently extravagant. One thing is sure. She'll enjoy money, whether she saves it in an old shoe or spends it on luxury. But this woman always leans heavily toward prestige, and she won't let cash compromise that.
• Despite her own strong individualism, the typical Scorpio girl will let her man be the boss. Instead of overshadowing him with her force and drive, she'll apply her talents to help him attain his goals. Your future will be important to her, and she's not likely to insist on retaining her own career after marriage (unless you've disappointed her deeply or a second job is needed in a temporary domestic crisis). She may fight you wildly in private, but she'll defend you fiercely in public. She won't stand for anyone maligning you or taking advantage of you. Those who try will feel the lash of her righteous anger. Your happiness will always come first. Unless there are adverse aspects to her Sun sign or ascendant in her natal chart, she'll pa­tiently help you persevere until you get what you want, and while you're getting it, she won't whine or complain or become restless, though she might turn a little bitter if you lose your courage on the way. She'll expect you to aim as high as your abilities will reach.
• A Scorpio woman will be incredibly loyal to those she finds strong and deserving, but the weak ones will never be honored by her glance. Her dignity in human relation­ships can make her seem aloof and snobbish. In a way, she definitely is, because she practices a personal caste system, and it's more clearly marked than that of her Leo and Capricorn sisters. All Scorpios are highly selective in friendships. They'll keep the worthy companions through an entire lifetime, and freeze the shallow, the common or the unworthy. There's an immense store of perseverance and determination buried in the nature of a Scorpio woman, and any time she chooses, she can call on these to help her master the excesses which may tempt her, from drink and drugs to self-destructive, ruthless revenge and dangerous depression.

So what to do.....

Scorpions possess strong will-power and charisma. They are stubborn and rather go to the extremes in their relationships. When Scorpions are in love, they can do any or everything to make you happy. But, when you are not in their good books, then take that as caution as the consequences can be very nasty and grave. Scorpions are very loyal and passionate lovers, will attract with their mystic and charming behaviour. There is one more remarkable trait about Scorpions, they are very true and will never show their inner feelings but will understand you deeply.Capricorns and Scorpions are very similar in their most of the traits. Both are obstinate, vindictive and suspicious. There also exits a clash between the two personalities. The first one is very emotional while the latter is very practical and hard-headed. The match is not excellent as both are very strong and determined, neither of them would like to bend a little for another but both will agree on one point which is the financial security. This may enable them to accommodate with each other. Capricorn men are intelligent and possess a brilliant logical sense. They are ambitious and strong too. Scorpio women are also determined but they are very emotional. They are passionately drawn to one another. Scorpio woman and Capricorn man can be of great support to one another, provided, they learn to respect each other's sentiments and emotions. There is a lot to learn from one another but it may take a long time to open up to each other.

To handle a Capricorn Man( by a Scorpio Woman): You are probably the most challenging woman he’ll ever give a second look. If he takes that second look, he’s yours. This is because he is a Serious Shopper. Capricorns don’t play games because they don’t waste time. Least of all their own.

To handle a Scorpio Woman( by a Capricorn Man): Come on like the immovable object you are. She can certainly live without you (or any man) but it feels so good to let those waves crash against the Rock of Gibraltar.

Degree of Romance: It’s so much more than that. We’re talking about a love that will endure all the tests of time. Patient, unalterable, a fortress against the world. Does that sound romantic?

Degree of Passion: They lay their lives down on each other’s altar. That’s pretty passionate.

Degree of Friendship: They really know the meaning of the word. They’ve got each other’s back.

Degree of Marriage: Terrific opportunity. Legally sanctioned or not.

Progression of Relationship: Each will move quickly to tie it down. No games.

When It’s Over: Scorpio will never love again. Capricorn will never feel happiness again. Don’t let it end.

Easter Egg tradition

Today is a Easter Sunday, and so many kids here in Norway( an other places where they celebrate Easter) kids wake up to find that the Easter Bunny has left them baskets of candy. Before Easter Sunday kids decorate and paint empty eggs and on Saturday night Easter bunny comes and hides the eggs that they decorated earlier that week. On Sunday, Kids hunt for the eggs all around the house and the child who finds the most eggs wins a prize.

I tried to find more about the importance of painting/dyeing eggs and so....
- Among Christians,the Easter eggs represent new life("the seed of life"), and Christ bursting forth from the tomb and sometimes called - "Christ is risen!"
- After the death and resurrection of Jesus,Mary Magdalene was invited to a banquet given by Emperor Tiberius. When she met him, she held a plain egg in her hand and exclaimed "Christ is risen!" Caesar laughed, and said that Christ rising from the dead was as likely as the egg in her hand turning red while she held it. Before he finished speaking, the egg in her hand turned a bright red, and she continued proclaiming the Gospel to the entire imperial house.
- Another version says -After the Crucifixion, Mary Magdalene and the Virgin Mary put a basket full of eggs at the foot of the cross. There, the eggs were painted red by the blood of the Christ. Then, Mary Magdalene brought them to Tiberius Caesar (see above).

Example of Linear-active and multi-active cultures

Yesterday I was reading an interesting book 'When Culture collides' by Richard D. Lewis and then come across the following example of Liner-active multi-active culture and somehow linked Indians to one of these categories as well. If can find out 'Indian belong to which category ?'  by reading following :

Sven Svensson is a Swedish businessman, living in Lisbon. A few weeks ago he was invited by a Portuguese acquaintance, Antonio, to play tennis at 10am. Sven turned up at the tennis court on time, already in tennis gear and ready to play.Antonio arrived half an hour late, in the company of a friend, Carlos, from whom he was buying some land. They had been discussing the purchase that morning and had prolonged the discussion, so Antonio had brought Carlos along in order to finalise the details during the journey. They continued the business while Antonio changed into his tennis clothes, with Sven listening to all they said. At 10.45 they went on court and Antonio continued the discussion with Carlos, while hitting practice balls with Sven.

At this point another acquaintance of Antonio’s, Pedro, arrived in order to confirm a sailing date with Antonio for the weekend. Antonio asked Sven to excuse him for a moment and walked off court to talk to Pedro. After chatting to Pedro for five minutes, Antonio resumed his conversation with the waiting Carlos and eventually turned back to the waiting Sven to begin playing tennis at 11. When Sven remarked that the court had only been booked from 10 to 11am, Antonio reassured him that he had phoned in advance to rebook it until 12 noon. No problem.

It will come as no surprise to you to hear that Sven was very unhappy about the course of events. Why? He and Antonio live in two different worlds or, to put it more exactly, use two different time systems. Sven, as a good Swede, belongs to a culture which uses linear-active time – that is to say, he does one thing at a time in the sequence he has written down in his diary. His diary that day said 8am get up, 9am breakfast, 9.15 change into tennis clothes, 9.30 drive to tennis court, 10–11am play tennis, 11–11.30 beer and shower, 12.15 lunch, 2pm go to the office, and so on.

Antonio, who had seemed to synchronise with him for tennis from 10 to 11, had disorganised Sven’s day. Portuguese like Antonio follow a multiactive time system, that is, they do many things at once, often in an unplanned order.

Multi-active cultures are very flexible. If Pedro interrupted Carlos’s conversation which was already in the process of interrupting Sven’s tennis, this was quite normal and acceptable in Portugal. It is not acceptable in Sweden, neither is it in Germany or Britain.

Linear-active people, like Swedes, Swiss, Dutch and Germans, do one thing at a time, concentrate hard on that thing and do it within a scheduled timescale. These people think that in this way they are more efficient and get more done.

Multi-active people think they get more done their way. Let us look again at Sven and Antonio. If Sven had not been disorganised by Antonio, he would undoubtedly have played tennis, eaten at the right time and done some business. But Antonio had had breakfast, bought some land, played tennis and fixed up his sailing, all by lunchtime. He had even managed to rearrange the tennis booking. Sven could never live like this, but Antonio does, all the time.

Multi-active people are not very interested in schedules or punctuality. They pretend to observe them, especially if a linear-active partner insists. They consider reality to be more important than manmade appointments. Reality for Antonio that morning was that his talk with Carlos about land was unfinished. Multi-active people do not like to leave conversations unfinished. For them completing a human transaction is the best way they can invest their time. So he took Carlos to the tennis and finished buying the land while hitting balls. Pedro further delayed the tennis, but Antonio would not abandon the match with Sven. That was another human transaction he wished to complete. So they played till 12 or 12.30 if necessary. But what about Sven’s lunch at 12.15? Not important, says Antonio. It’s only 12.15 because that’s what Sven wrote in his diary.

So Indians culture is Linear-active and multi-active  ?...you got it right !!